13 Division Report 2002
By Jon Hall

13 Division Report 2002

The progression from 1st year to Army Alpha was somewhat tumultuous for 40 young souls this year as we proceeded with trembling lower lips to Army Attrition squadron. The statistics proved that at least a third of us would be grazing in greener pastures by Christmas and there was a real chance that each of us would have at least two charges to our name within a week. The inspections of 1st year were laughable compared to the initial 13 Div inspection. A blade of grass strategically placed resulted in the pleasure of another date with the boss.

Once back from the Christmas break, the anticipation and angst of Army A was further prolonged. A 3 week attachment to units at Darwin, Brisbane and Townsville provided the opportunity to gain the experience and observe what a Lieutenant does. We quickly learned that some things are universal to the military: the enjoyment of cleansing ales, PT hurts and military members are openly embraced and highly respected by the civilian counterparts at night clubs.

Reluctantly returning to the second year of our sentence, we quickly learned the importance of room security, to keep our MP3s out of sight and the expected standard of divisional cleanliness. We were now in the world of our DO, Captain George (or as he is affectionately known: “Cappy G”, “The G” or simply Sir.)

If you can imagine a poor child playing sports on a Saturday morning with the parent yelling ‘encouragement’ and pushing their pride and joy to achieve a personal best, you can comprehend the 13 Division. Our beloved parent DO ‘motivated’ us towards dictated personal goals and made as catch the infamous 13 Div bus to school every military period. 13 Div lead the way for Army A as 11 and 12 divisions observe this will oiled machine and made poor attempts to imitate our bus.

The real challenge surviving and 13 Div this year was uphold the Artist image while appeasing our nagging parent. We had to maintain our quota of DVDs watched, spend hours on ‘Counter-Strike’ or the latest first person shooting game, and become innovative in our procrastination resulting in countless bacons.

The 13 Div motto “Who needs luck?” was quickly instilled as we left little to fate. The famous 13 Div ‘will to win’ ensured no luck was needed in the rapid destruction of the RAAF squadron in some healthy physical competition. After these humble opponents we moved On to subdue a group of juvenile delinquents, several bemused onlookers at Div functions and SGT Richards.

The now willingness to find and defeat a worthy foe, we were forced to start an intersection competition named the “Farncomb Will-toWin Shield”. The infamous “Chodoknights” were the outstanding section here. This was obviously due to a fierce desire to protect the reputation of our beloved division chode.

The fiercely competitive sections were divided into geographical modules and the movement between these two without footwear was a serious offence. It seems we were the only division to enforce this obscure Academy Standing Orders directive. We also had the dubious honor of being the only division outside of Navy squadron with more people on medical chits than actually able to do PT. This resulted in the shameful two ranks of chitters, 13 unlucky for some?

Most of importantly, a division is the people. We have some divisional members and note; One notorious ‘Indian Giver’, for handing in a resignation then promptly taking it back. Another transferred to the Navy for two weeks. Quote: Chief Barnes, jokingly “Mr. Wellham, would you still like to transfer to the Navy?” Wellham’s serious and succinct answer… “No”. Questions need to be asked of Sharpy and mascot, can you please explain to things: 1. Why some bloke called Sanchez keeps calling and asking for you two? and 2. Why you keep getting packages from Columbia? It has not been all fun and games however, our posted strength diminished due to the attritional war with accas and military resulting in five casualties

Lest we forget- Jimbo, Timmy, Willy, Browny and Devo.

Finally, we have to mention letters getting sent to 13 Div postmarked “Namibia”. Devo, did you tell World Vision that you were leaving the Army and unable to support Joseph any more???