Bush Diving Documentation - The Ins, Outs and Unders
By Luke Bigum


First off, Bush Diving is not what you think. It was not made up by a posse of drunk Australians with nothing better to do than intentionally fall into small shrubbery in their neighbour's yard at five in the morning because they were so trashed out of their heads they thought surfing a wheelie bin down the hill was a great idea.

Nor is it one of those temporary activities that will be brushed back into the closet, forgotten like all those other stupid pastimes, like bathing for example. No, Bush Diving is here to stay.

History:

Bush Diving was founded by a triumvirate of attractive young men who fell upon the sport quite accidentally and to this day have literally nurtured it from the ground up. It was quite a melodramatic beginning: the trio split, going their separate ways until The Creator was struck with a blow of pure genius.

Suggested to The Pioneer it was, that he should return with the rest of the Trio to continue their nightly merriments, and not retire to his home to rest and rejuvenate. The Pioneer, ever so cautious and tired of merrymaking, refused until The Creator, in a desperate last push, requested that The Pioneer throw his incredibly handsome bulk into the shrubbery of The Creator's neighbours' garden. Thus are they named The Creator and The Pioneer.
While the matinee dive reforged the bond between the Bush Diving Triumvirate, it was only the will of The Motivator that held the trio together, and paved the way for Bush Diving into the coming nightly festivities, and furthermore around the populace of the world.

The theories behind Bush Diving:

At first glance, the art of Bush Diving looks not like an art at all, but more like the manifestation of a deeply intoxicated youth. It is not until you study the Bush Dive, learn the Bush Dive, and experience the Bush Dive will you realise that it is a sport of analysis and endurance. In fact, Bush Diving can be broken simply into these two phases: Analysis and Endurance. Each phase is subdivided into more specific phases and outlined below.

Analysis Phase:

Arguably the most important aspect of Bush Diving, because without the Analysis phase, no amount of endurance will save you from the harsh repercussions of a failed Dive. The Analysis phase is divided into the Preliminary Scan, Flora Identification Phase and Pre-dive/Last-Second Scan.

Preliminary Scan- The Preliminary Scan is the often neglected and even ignored. Some say the Preliminary Scan is but a shoulder check that lasts no more than a second. These some have been charged with Wilful Damage and Destruction Of Government Property. The Preliminary Scan is the subphase that counts more than anything, because the Dive would have been for nothing if you are arrested by a roving Police vehicle.

Checkpoints to follow while doing the Preliminary Scan:

1. Stop- You cannot perform a proper Preliminary Scan on the move!

2. Turn- Slowly rotate your body 360 degrees. If you spot any persons of authority, including all Emergency Services personnel and night-time security, abort the Dive.

3. Listen- Depending on your locale, vehicles could be right around the corner, and may see you while your airborne. Listen for vehicle engines and the like.

4. Turn- The first turn is sometimes not enough, take a second glance over your shoulders, and mark any pedestrians that have changed positions in case they are attempting to intercept you or notify the authorities. If things look suspicious, abort. You can always dive another day.

5. Plan- It is often handy to have an escape route planned if your freedom is compromised. Judge the angle of your dive and exit vector. Mark the closest ally or obstruction that could be used to make good your escape in the event of an emergency.

Flora Identification Subphase- A most useful subphase indeed. While the Preliminary Scan subphase orients itself to protecting you from any legal injuries, the Flora Identification Subphase is centred on preventing the more physical types of injuries gained from Bush Diving into a harmful medium.

The more extremist factions of Bush Diving urge toward the 'pain is better' approach, where throwing yourself into tree trunks, rose bushes and other hard or thorned plants is smiled upon. The Triumvirate in no way supports such extreme action, preferring style and elegance to how much you're bleeding.

Plants are informally given a Diveability rating, which indicates how good a bush is to dive into. A Diveability of -5 is a horid plant to touch, let alone dive into. They should be burned immediately. Diveability ratings of 0 are common bushes that just suffice to dive into, having no harmful foliage yet not being overly soft either. A Diveability of 5 is a bush with great potential, having thick, fluffy foliage, a lot of volume behind it, and almost no wood at all.

Tips for the Flora Identification Subphase, and calculating a plant's Diveability:

Know Your Shrubbery- Veteran Bush Divers can simply glance at a plant and determine it's Diveability rating, whereas rookie divers should take the time out to get up close to the plant, and know it's roots. If you find a good bush, use it. There's no point scouting around all the time for better shrubbery when the good stuff is right before you. Just don't overuse the plant, as Bush Diving is not the most forgiving sport, looking from the environment's side.

Avoid Sharp Foliage- A plant that has any type of thorns, spikes, razor leaves or deadly toxins should be avoided and marked with a negative Diveability rating. These plants are hazardous to one's health and the Triumvirate themselves often abort a dive if the intended plant is found to be thorned. Common plants that have dangerous foliage are:

- Rosebushes (sharp and hard thorns pointing upward. Diveability: -4)
- Aloe Vera (reasonably spiky leaves, but toxic if foliage secretion is ingested. Diveability: -2)
- Bogenvilia (more of a tree, but deserves a mention. Thorns are horrifyingly 1 to 2 inches long. Diveability: -5 (Very Dangerous))
- Razorleaf Palms (some species of ground palm have leaves with razored or serated edges (The Pioneer can testify to that). Diveability: -4)

Stay Away From Wood- Another factor on the Diveability scale is how much hard wood the plant is composed of. While all plants are technically made of 'wood', this document refers to wood being the hard brown solid commonly found on large trees. Bushes that have their branches made of small, soft stems and lots of leaves are ideal for Bush Diving.

Flowers Are Best- The best bushes are hardest to find. Luckily, councils prefer the quick growing and voluminous plants for their nature strips and gardens, so council buildings or roadside plantations that are council-maintained are a good source. The softest part of any bush are it's flowers, followed by it's leaves, and finally the stems and branches. A plant that is thick with leaves and flowers, with a high ground coverage (ideally, a Bush Diver would prefer to be able to lie down in the bush and have no limbs protrude from the area), and a decent amount of height off ground level.

Pre-dive/Last-Second Scan- The Last-Second Scan is often performed while in motion, and building up to the sprint. If a police car or other vehicle appears while the Bush Diver in question is in motion, they can easily change direction and decelerate, hopefully avoiding any confrontations.
The Pre-Dive Scan differs slightly from the Last-Second scan, in that it is performed just before a dive, and looks not for people, but to the bush itself to identify any hazards (rocks, protruding branches, thorns) that were otherwise missed in the Flora Identification subphase. Aborting from the Pre-Dive Scan position is often hazardous in itself, as it may require an unsafe launch or landing target, if deceleration is not an option.

Endurance Phase:

The Endurance Phase is split into four phases: Sprint, Launch, Land and Recovery. Each is equally important for a perfect Bush Dive.

The Sprint: The sprint, unsurprisingly, is the run up taken before the Bush Dive. Typically The Sprint is started before the Pre-dive and Last-Second Scans are undertaken. A Sprint distance of about 5 metres is desirable, any less of a distance detracts from the speed of your launch and will impact on the elegance of your dive. On the other hand, too long a sprint distance will endanger your health, as too much speed and the Bush Diver may overshoot his landing point, possibly missing the bush altogether.

The Launch: The Launch phase of a Bush Dive is the most important in terms of technique. The Launch determines what angle you will be facing, what rotations you will undergo while airborne, and approximately where you will land.

The in depth mechanics of the Launch phase have called for the Techniques section of this document to be composed, so not much detail will be gone into here. Basically your aiming for a decent amount of height (ie: jump, don't tackle) and rotation (if you don't rotate when you jump, you'll land on your feet (assuming you started on your feet) which is not a dive at all) from your launch. You should also time your launch and calculate your intended trajectory so you know when to Launch so as to land in the best part of the bush.
Common launching positions include the two-footed launch (harder as the Diver looses speed bringing his or her feet together for the launch), the single foot launch or running launch (most commonly used), or the propped launch (includes getting a boost from a fellow bush diver, or pushing off from a fence or garden bench).

The Landing: Sometimes referred to as the Crunch (for obvious reasons) and the Gala Day Moose (for unobvious reasons). A good landing leads to a good recovery, which leads to another bush dive later on. There are a number of landing techniques described in the Techniques section, but here are the main few:

Belly (or Belly Flop)- Bush Diver launches usually from both feet and lands primarily on his/her stomach and chest. This landing endangers the Recovery phase, as most divers are left winded on the ground for a few minutes.

Back- The Back is a dangerous landing where the Diver lands on his or her back, risking a serious spinal injury.

Side- Probably the softest landing. The Diver uses his or her arms or thighs/buttocks to soften the landing, leading into a total collapse onto one side of the diver's body. Can be easily recovered into a roll-and-stand technique.

Head- The Triumvirate in no way supports head landings of any kind, preferring Bush Divers to be able to dive again (let alone walk).

The Recovery:

The Recovery phase is often not taken advantage of. It is mainly used to remove one's self from the Bush Diving area in case a multiple person dive was undertaken, or if risk of police intervention is high. Veteran Bush Divers can make use of the Recovery Phase to implement further technical stunts, including roll-and-stands and even double dives.
Most often a Bush Diver's recovery consists of catching one's breath accompanied by a round of applause by the Bush Diving spectators.

Techniques: Bush Diving is part sport part art. The sporting part of Bush Diving is apparent when a Diver can hurl himself into a bush, over and over, and return to the side walk unscathed and even happier. The art comes in with each dive's technique and style. Rookie divers usually concentrate on leaving the vicinity of the bush uninjured, but the veteran divers will throw themselves into a bush in the most stylish of fashions with little apparent care for their safety. Bush Diving Techniques are split into three very broad categories: Common, Technical and Multiple.

Common Dives: Common Dives are obviously the easiest to perform, have little risk to them, and are generally practiced by rookie Bush Divers. Some of the more common Common Dives are listed here. Classifications of common dives are very hard to do, as it includes such factors as height, rotation, difficulty and known completions (if everyone can do it, then it's a common dive). Basically though, if it's not a Technical or Multi Dive, it's a common dive.

The Standing Flop- The founding dive. The very first. The famous dive that The Pioneer performed for The Creator all those weeks ago. The standing flop is the first dive a rookie should perform, for histories sake, but it is often skipped over and replaced with the Belly Flop or Drunk Man's Fall. The Standing Flop requires no Sprint: just a Launch and Landing (and hopefully a recovery).
Simply move up to the bush of choice, brace your body for impact, leap up and lean forward at the same time, so you land on your belly. For particularly small/sparse bushes, a degree of hands or waist can be used to brace one's fall, but landing on one's hands and knees is pathetic.

The Belly Flop- The Belly Flop is simply a Standing Flop with a Sprint. Speed is gathered before the flop is executed to gain more height and distance, and often more pain. Recommended that novices use a palm or two to slightly break one's fall if sober while executing the Belly Flop.

Drunk Man's Fall- The Drunk Man's Fall is the name given to all dives that can't really be called a Flying Drunk. Both Flying Drunk and Drunk Man's Fall are free form Dives where the Diver usually has no plan as to how he will land, other than he hopes he will. The common landing style is the side landing, as a back or stomach landing is generally considered a flip or summersault of some kind. The Drunk Man's Fall differs from the Flying Drunk on an dive by dive basis, usually judged by the onlookers. If the diver is considered to gain enough air and distance to be classified as a Flying Drunk dive, then so be it.

The Flying Drunk- The flying drunk is free form dive where the Diver has chosen little control over his dive's style, trajectory and landing, and is just throwing himself into the bush. Flying Drunks are better than the common Drunk Man's Fall as they gain more height, distance and (random) rotation while airborne.

Flying Drunk to Recovery Stand- If a Diver is coherent enough to roll from his landing into a Standing Recovery, then all the better. Flying Drunk to Recovery Stands look more stylish than plain old Flying Drunks, and can set the diver up for a double dive technique. Note that it is not possible to perform a Drunk Man's Fall to Recovery Stand, as it is considered a dive and recovery as two separate motions (anyone can stand up after falling down).

Flip/Summersault Dive- The next level of Bush Dive. Summersault dives are difficult to execute, as they require a decent amount of bush to brace one's fall. Summersault dives usually land on the back, consisting of a slow Sprint and a double footed launch in which the Diver twists his body fast enough to get almost a full rotation (full rotations are frowned upon, as Divers don't land on their feet, however more than a full rotation is excellent (see Summersault to Belly Flop below)).

Technical Dives:

Technical Dives are generally more difficult to do, look better, and do more damage. Here are some of the Technical dives that the Triumvirate supports.

Flying Drunk to Standing/Belly Flop- Possibly the simplest Technical dive to complete. The Flying Drunk to Standing/Belly Flop consists of a Flying Drunk Dive with a Standing Recovery immediately followed by a Standing Flop or Belly Flop. While it sounds challenging, the real difficulty is getting to one's feet after the Flying Drunk. Once standing again, the Diver uses his remaining motion to throw himself into a Belly Flop or Standing Flop. Note that if a Belly Flop follows, no more than one step is taken, as this is counted as a whole new Dive, and not a double dive. It is very desirable to have a long stretch of bushes to land in if attempting this move, as the kinetic energies if the first dive will often carry the Diver past the confines of the initial landing bush.

Summersault to Belly Flop- The Summersault to Belly Flop can only be performed by a person of extreme agility and speed. It requires that the person summersault forward from the two-footed launch position, rotating fully around and then some more so as to land on one's stomach. A backward flip into a Belly Flop is considered a Moonsault.

Moonsault- The Moonsault name was adopted from Entertainment Wrestlers, who perform the same move off the turnbuckle. A Moonsault is a backwards flip with a stomach landing. It is very difficult to execute, as it requires a lot of timing and balance (since you have to spin 180 degrees during the sprint to get the correct launch). The launch is typically a two-footed launch, but facing the direction you came from. Single foot launches are slightly easier, but lack the two-footed launches style and finesse. A Moonsault can often be made easier by getting some height from a propped launch, perhaps off a nearby park bench or some such object.

Flying Drunk to Moonsault- The Flying Drunk to Moonsault is sometimes easier to perform than a direct Moonsault. It requires that the Diver achieve a Standing Recovery after a Flying Drunk in such a way that he was facing back the way he came, and using his remaining kinetic energy to launch himself into a Moonsault. Like all techniques that require a standing recovery, it is important that the Diver target a lengthy stretch of shrubbery to Dive into.

Multi Dives: Multiple Dives involve multiple people all jumping into the same bush. Multiple Dives often give the most satisfaction, and are often the most enjoyable as everyone gets to experience the joyful sport of Bush Diving at the same time.

Bush Rush: The Bush Rush is simply a mass of bodies all using various techniques to jump into the one bush or set of bushes. It is the technique of choice for the Triumvirate.




Thus concludes the Bush Diving Documentation. Study it well, readers, for there will be many bush dives on the christmas holidays, possibly even a bush diving competition when everyone's back.