Skurfing: A New Olympic Sport
By Jon Green


I went skurfing the other day for the first time, and I can honestly say with complete certainty it is the greatest sport yet created by man.

So what is this 'skurfing' you ask? Well, its a combination of surfing, boogie boarding and water skiing. You lie on a boogie board in the water and hold onto a stick which is tied to a piece of rope, and the rope is tied to Shack's car. The object is to stay on for as long as you can. Speeds range from 10km to around 60km an hour.

If you're at all confused by the technical aspects of this, read the following.


Step 1: Getting Ready

Make sure you have all the proper equipment. You will need at your disposal one stick, one rope of about 15 metres in length, one beach, and one Shack's car. (See Figure 1)
Note: Do not use Surfboards, as the fins underneath will slow you down when being pulled over sand.


Step 2: Going into the Skurfboard Stance

This is called the skurfboard stance, but you aren't standing. Lie down as in Figure 2, with your body on the boogie board and hands holding onto the front of the board and the stick (as not in Figure 2). Wait for Shack to drive. Also, do not do this on dry sand as it doesn't work. Do it in water, as in Figure 3.

Step 3: Hold On

Now hold onto the stick and the board very tightly, and yell "Go!" Whoever is driving will start up the car, and, driving slowly at first, will pull you along. (See Figure 4) You will notice that as you are pulled along you go from being in the water to being on semi-dry land directly behind the car. Watch out for rocks and other hurty things.

Step 4: Leaning is Everthing

Leaning against the pull of the car will enable you to stay in the water for a long period of time, as demonstrated by Shack in Figure 5. If however you do not have the skills and end up on the semi-dry sand behind the car, do not fear. Hold on for as long as you can, but if you hit fully dry sand you have two choices of method.

Method One: Let go of the stick thats tied to the rope and you will slide off the front of the board and probably do a few rolls, ending up safely with a few scratches and bruises.

Method Two, or The Chris Arnold Method: Let go of the board and continue to hold onto the stick. You will be pulled a short distance over sand until you realise your mistake and let go. You will sustain some bruising and scratches, and your pants will end up down at your ankles.


Thats pretty well all there is to it. If you're in Yeppoon anytime soon, get ready, cause we're gonna take you skurfing. With the above information, you're going to be a champion at it in no time.