Where in the World is Ben Fairley?
By Jon Green


Its been quiet a while now, going on 8 months, since any of us heard anything from Ben Fairley.

He's in the Army now, and could be anywhere from Hawaii to Darwin, so rumours of where he is and what's happened to him abound.

Below are just a few.


Rumour One: Not long ago, Ben and Arx went to Christmas Island on some Army excercise. Christmas Island isn't the most interesting place, but it does have a Casino. Rumour has it that Ben bet slightly more than he should have, and lost around 1 thousand dollars there. That's why he hasn't come home for holidays.

Rumour Two: (This sort of ties in with Rumour One) Ben, being unable to pay the thousand bucks did a runner from Christmas Island and is now living under an assumed name. He is being pursued by Casino heavies, which is why he hasn't contacted any of us in the fear they are tapping his mobile phone.

Rumour Three: Soon after beginning his training at Darwin, Ben was headhunted by a mysterious American Agency, who, realising he wasn't fulfilling his potential in the Australian Armed Forces, signed him up to their shadowy organisation. He is currently hunting Taliban leader Osama Bin Laden, and after that mission has orders to assasinate Saddam Hussein.

Rumour Four: Ben got sick of being ordered around and decided to go AWOL upon reaching Christmas Island. He somehow managed to get aboard a refugee ship on its way to Australia. After the ship was caught by the coast guard he was sent to Nauru, where he is currently being 'processed' by the Australian authorities. However, they don't believe he is Australian, and he will probably be sent back to Afghanistan.

Rumour Five, or Kim's Rumour: He has been kidnapped by two male prostitutes.