August Profile : Jon Hall


I'd been meaning to do an interview with Jon for quite a while. Finally, when the man himself had a few moments, we had this conversation.

Jon G: What's your full name?

Jon Hall: Officer Cadet Jonathan Peter Hall, 1814731, Corps of Officer Cadets, Australian Regular Army

Jon G: What are you doing educationally?

Jon Hall: Sorry, I nearly got raped by Troy.

Jon G: Fair enough.

Jon Hall: I'm doing a Bachelor of Arts, with majors in Information Systems and Geography. 3 years.

Jon G: And what do you like best about Canberra/ADFA?

Jon Hall: Getting paid. If it wasn't for that I'd be out of here in a heartbeat. Well, actually I wouldn't because If I left now I'd owe the Army $500,000.

Jon G: Right. Wow. Is that what they charge you if you leave early?

Jon Hall: Yeah, thats how much they've spent on me so far, in 18 months.

Jon G: Holy shit.

Jon Hall: Over the 4 years I'm here I get $2.5 million worth of training. And it's your taxes that are paying it! Ahhh ha ha ha ha.....

Jon G: I got more back on my taxes than i was taxed.

Jon Hall: That doesn't sound right.

Jon G: No it doesn't. Whats the funniest thing you've seen or done?

Jon Hall: Oh man this could be a long list. Probably it would be when I went to the video store with Rummy (the guy Chris B met) one day and he noted some intact bike chains hanging off the bike racks. Now usually people who go there regularly (ie Employees) will leave their bike chains there so they don't have to keep carrying it. If you cut the bike chain to steal it, the chain would be useless anyway. Anyway Rummy noticed them, turned to me and said "Hey look, they must have cut the frame of the bike to steal them."
"What?"
"The bike chains are still intact. They must have cut the bike frames to steal them." and it cracked me up.
How the hell he got to that conclusion will keep me puzzled forever, I can only begin to imagine the thought process Rummy took to get to that conclusion.

Jon G: Thats probably the first thing i would have thought. Or that they had dissassembled the bikes.

Jon Hall: Ha ha ha, oh man but if you know Rummy you wouldn't have. I was in the car with him the other day, and he told me to watch out the back so he doesn't hit anything, and he turned to stick his head out the window- which was shut. I've never heard a bigger thump come from someones head.

Jon G: Hahah. OK .. What would you do with 2.5 million dollars?

Jon Hall: Hmm, thats a lot of money... well I could buy my way out of the Army now and go and live somewhere warm, sunny, not Canberra, and full of beautiful women.

Jon G: Where?

Jon Hall: Fiji maybe? Actually, probably not, they have too much civil strife... Vanuatu is probably the best bet.

Jon G: Alright, what's something hilarious we can talk about? Or I can ask?

Jon Hall: Hmm... maybe you should start "The Leila Files" for your website, everytime she does/says/eats something stupid you can put it in there for entertainment of everyone except her.

Jon G: Good idea.

Jon Hall: It could probably work for Tamara too

Jon G: Thats quite a good idea

Jon Hall: Do you know how I could get some firecrackers back to Yeppoon? I've got a big bag of the things and they won't let me post them home. Wouldn't let me take them on a plane either.

Jon G: What about a different kind of post, like courier or something? Cost us $12 to send our computer to Brisbane by courier.

Jon Hall: Already tried. They shat themselves when I asked them.

Jon G: Oh.

Jon Hall: Thats a power I'd like to have, teleportation. Then i could get my firecrackers back.

Jon G: Where are they now?

Jon Hall: In my safe.

Jon G: Aha. Well i can't think of how, other than smuggling them. What about just one? you could hide it on you.

Jon Hall: They have sniffer dogs at Canberra airport. They'd pick it up.

Jon G: For firecrackers??

Jon Hall: Anyway, isn't this the bit where you should be saying "Any last words"?

Jon G: Any last words?

Jon Hall: (After a long pause) Ahhh, caught me off guard... "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall down an open sewer and die"

Jon G: Yeah thats good enough.




And that was the end of that. Next month, YOU!