Famous Quotes of All Time

If you have a famous quote send it here, or say it in front of me. Either way there's a good chance you're in here somewhere..


"You Knights are all a bunch of fairies sitting around drinking tea. LIKE THE BRITISH!"
Steve at the Broncos VS Knights game

"I don't like them that much, I'd buy the double CD I like them that much."
Zak talking about Daft Punk (no I don't understand either)

Jon H: "You know what this car park reminds me of?"
Zak A: "You're momma?"
Jon G: "The Matrix?"

Zak: "Luke's making a 3D interface for Linux"
Jon G: "Yeah, Luke's making a 3D user interface with Logowriter"
Jon H: "He's only got 99 shapes to work with"
Jon G: "And they're all turtles."

Zak A: "Hey Jon how about Web Hosting Tech Support Officer?"
Jon G: "Do you need to have web hosting experience?"
Zak A: "Jon, you run your own web page."
Jon G: "Oh yeah"

Jon G: "Yeah that's cool we could debug Windows XP"
Jon H: "Well Zaks got his C++ textbook here so we should be fine"
(Windows XP asked if we wanted to debug it after trying to load videos)

Jon H: "Mandy's gone to pick up Bill"
Kathy: "What do we need milk for?"

Jon G: "My stomaches really sore"
Kathy: "Are these sausage rolls ready? they don't look ready.."
Jon G: "Yeah they're fine I just ate 3 of them"
Jon H: "Maybe thats why your stomaches sore"
Jon G: "Ahhh.."

Jon H: "Yeah, those electric razors are good for shaving downstairs"
Kathy: "Why? What's different about the power points downstairs?"

Zak: "A mammal is an animal thats only awake at night"

Jon G: "Sayonara suckers!... Oh SHIT!"
My car caught fire in Vice City

Steve: "Less talk... Bonkers!"

"Well I'd piss my pants laughing... because I need to go to the toilet a little bit"
Jon G

"Stop eating stuff, stuff!"
Jon G. I meant stop eating stuff steve

"I'm in the garden"
Robert (Paula Paulas boyfriend)

Steve: "I'm ready to steam up the dancefloor"
Jon G: "Oh what are you gonna do?"
Steve: "Sit there and fart"

"I live in a house full of arseholes who piss me off continuously"
Leila. No, she's not joking.

"Alright guys this is fucking serious - Where the fuck are my fucking pink slippers?"
Zak

Steve: "... and with me whacking off in the corner."
Leila: "Who?"
Steve: "Me!"
Leila: "Oh. I thought you said Jesus!"

"Where's Johnny Depp, he hasn't been in it yet"
Leila, when we were watching 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' where Johnny Depp is the main character and is in every scene

"Fuck the Army"
Jon Hall, Army Reserve Induction Day

"Paula you smell like weed all the time"
Kims Dad

Ben M's Sister (on phone): "Where are you ben, what are you doing?"
Ben M: "Sam is in a pub with me having a beer"
Sister: "Sam? Which one is that?"
Ben M: "You know sam... the gay one... remember??"
Sister: "Oh yeah I think I know the one!"
And yes she was thinking of Sam

Amnesty Girl: "Its only 30 dollars a month to save a child"
Jon G: "Sorry I really can't afford 30 bucks at the moment"
I then walked into the post office next door and bought 30 dollars worth of credit for my mobile

"I attack my pecker when I can hear you in the shower Leila"
Zak

"Why are they called the Paramatta Eels anyway?"
Myself. I didn't know Paramatta was an actual place OK?

Zak: "Maybe if you were famous like Guy Sebastian"
Steve: "What sing like a fairy and go on a poof show?"

"Oh so you found it eh?"
Steve said this in the video shop to some asian man who he thought was Zak, but who actually looked nothing like Zak

"Sex is like wacking off, but with boobies"
Ben Maloney

Steve: "Skeebideebeebaaa skebidee dee"
Jon: "Bekideeskeeebaa weebaa bepidee"
Me and Steve made these sounds for like 15 minutes driving around in Brisbane. Heh heh.

"Ohh, can I have the non gay version of coke please?"
Steve to the Blockbuster guy, when he got vanilla coke instead of normal

"Hey Matt, you smell like Craig David"
Jon H (to Matt Lancaster)

Steve: "What's wrong with this phone?"
Jon G: "Well A: your holding it upside down, and
B: its not plugged in."

Leila: "Child Porn Dentist" (reading from newspaper headline)
Zak: "What? I don't get it. Describe this position for me."
Zak thought Leila was still reading the career paper

"24 hours to myself? I'd go fuck a tree"
Kim

"I like to smell the donkey"
Jon G

"Fuck, fuck it to hell. God fucking damn it! Fuck."
Jon G playing Xbox

Jon: "Why are so you quiet tonight Zak?"
Zak: "Oh my life's just fucking shit thats all"

Jon: "Is that someone screaming in real life or on the TV?"
Zak: "Real life"

Shannon: "What did you do to him?"
Zak: "A little move i like to call the pedigree"
(When Zak made Chris Sykes nose bleed)

Ben F: "Is Tamara coming out tonight?"
Jon G: "Yeah"
Kim & Zak: "Well I'm not going out."
Ben F: "That's a bit rough"
Matt G: "Yeah well so's she"

"The mango is brain?"
Jon H, after mishearing me say 'mango is great'

"Quit dancing the cops are coming"
Steve, when we were near the car wash in Yeppoon, dancing

"If I run out of money I'll just suck my sock"
Shack, after spilling his drink on his shoe

(Sarcastically) "Yeah Kim, just drink what you used to drink three years ago!"
Ben Fairley, with a bottle of passion pop in his hand

"I want drink, Bonkers good"
Ben Fairley

"Don't worry there aren't any cops in Emu Park."
Jon Hall

"Fuck off you'd drink me!"
Kathy (no I don't understand either, I wasn't there)

Kathy: "Carmen's got to get ready"
Naomi: (Carmen's little sister) "Yeah Carmen's got to eat"
Zak: "I got something you can eat"
Kim: "Give us 5 minutes: Zak get me warmed up"
Naomi: "Umm our mum's on the phone"

"How time flies when you're smashing useless crap!"
Chris Brown, when we were throwing things like tv's off the back of Jon Hall's car while he drove.

Amy: "So Josh, what have you been up to?"
Josh: "I still work the same jobs. I have a simple life. I get up and I brush my teeth..."

Kim: "Your hair is so cool josh, I want your hair "
Josh: "(so Kim could not hear) thats the biggest compliment I have ever got. Normally its 'get a hair cut you damn hippie'."

"Whats 3 divided by 8? More than 2?"
Kim

"I lost all dignity in my house when my mum found me covered in foam with a red g-string on my head"
Ben Fairley

Zak: "Get out of my house!"
Kim: "But we're in my house"

Zak: "They're not even shot glasses, they're egg cups"
Shack: "That's why they were so big!"

Kim: "She's with Chantelle"
Zak: "What?"
Kim: "She's with Chantelle"
Zak: "What"
Kim: "Dude. She eats box!"

Zak: "That'd be good, making a video with 8 hours of women mud wrestling"
Jon G: "And just have random words appear on the screen"
Zak: "Like cat"
Jon G: "Or eat"
Zak: "Or narf"
Kim: "Or box"

"How dare you roll on Tara Reid you sanctimonious son of a bitch"
Zak

"I guess her journalism degree gave her the apparent technical expertise to fix an advanced electronic item herself with water."
Jon Hall

Kylie: "Hurry up Lukie, it's lockout in 20 minutes.."
Luke: "Okay, get Kim to pick me up from outside QBar in 15 minutes" (Luke calling from Geelong)

Kim: "So how was Jesus Christ Superstar?"
Zak: "Gay, I didn't know it was about Jesus"

"Last time I did 100 shots in 100 minutes I ended up with a facial reconstruction."
Kim

Jon H: "If you can't get laid on schoolies you'll never get laid."
Zak: "Did you get laid on schoolies?"
Jon H: "....no"

Kaylee: "I've got to work from 7 till 1"
Jon H: "Oh that's OK that's only two hours"

"You did mutual vomiting out the window, and you think blowing my nose is sick?"
Chris Arnold

"Show us your boobs Leila!"
Everyone

"I can't stop touching my penis"
Jon Hall

"I was getting really bad stomach pains, so I went and got an ultrasound, but my uterus is fine."
Jon Hall

Jon G: "Why don't you just piss your pants? It'd be good for the video"
Jon H: "Cause these are my good pants!"

"Take one of my drinks and I'll cut off your tits!"
Kathy (at Bonkers)

Catherine: "Tom's living with his fiance now"
Jon Hall: "What is he, Vietnamese?"
When Jon thought Catherine said the guy's name was Tum

"Is this Oasis?"
Jon Hall (Teen Spirit by Nirvana is on the radio)

Tamara: "Guys can't fake orgasms"
Jon H: "Yeah they can they just piss a little bit"

"When I get hungry I just go home and lick my pants"
Jon Hall

"You saw how me and fast Jon were going"
Jon H, trying to explain how fast me and him were riding on some push bikes. That's why sometimes people call me Fast Jon.

Jon Hall: "Would someone please tell me who TGS is?" (The Good Samaritan)
Leila, Michelle, Kaylee: No, we don’t know who it is and even if we did, we are not telling you!
Rosie: (some time later) "Hey Jon, look at the flag that I just made. ( The flag has 'Do you know who TGS is' written on it). What do you think?"
Jon Hall: "I have read some stuff about The Grammar School, but I don’t really know that much about it."

Kim: "Ohhhh haven't had cheese on a stick for years, i want one."
Steph: "What's on a cheese on a stick?"

"I suppose I should come and have a few drinks with you before you die."
Kylie, to Ben M before he went to the Gulf

"The general consensus is, this isn't good"
Richard Suthers, getting a replacement Coke at McDonald's after making me and Catherine taste it.

"I must have some chicken in my ear cause I can smell it"
Laura, when a bit of chicken was thrown at her

Catherine: "When do you turn 18?"
Girl: "June"
Catherine: "Oh great you can come to my 21st. Oh wait I don't turn 21 this year..."

"My goat horned me."
Leila

"He has blonde eyes and blue hair"
Leila

Doctor: "Well, looks like the spots are all over your body. Hmm, well it can't be meningococcal cause you'd be uhhh..."
Jon G: "Dead?"
Doctor: "Yeah well you wouldn't be feeling great"

"Oh I was just about to whip out my big one!"
Steve, playing Halo

"Whats that thing in the sky? You can see the Space Station from Earth you know! Look its got lights going on and off on it!"
Leila, looking at one of the floodlights at the football field.

Kim: "I think we could make an alright CD"
Jon: "I think we could make a shit CD thats shit"

"Its only gay if your penises touch"
Zara (a long time ago)

"Me???? owning my own bar......that's about as safe as Lukas owning a shopfull of knives!"
Kim

"Hmm my tires flat. Now I'll have good traction driving on sand."
Luke, when he picked up Leila to go to the movies in Rocky

"I'm not homophobic, I'm just scared of gays"
Rummy, Jon Hall's friend

"I don't know how alcoholics can do it all the time. I have so much respect for those guys"
Rummy, Jon Hall's friend again, after waking up with a hangover

"Just wack off into her eyes and when she wakes up in the morning she'll just think she's got conjunctivitus."
Shack

"I can't believe I got her to lick my chicken"
Kim

"You probably shouldn't give your sister alcohol at 9 in the morning."
Zak (to Kim)

"Don't eat the shot glass fuckface!"
Kim (to Luke)

"Are you questioning the symbolicness of the chicken?"
Chris Arnold

Ben Maloney: "We have to rust proof them"
Leila: "Why, do you live at the beach?"
Ben Maloney: "Um we're on a ship. In the water."

"When we get bored in the Navy we just make out with each other"
Ben Maloney (Yes he did actually say this)

"Vrrrroom..........fuck"
Sam

"This CD Player doesn't open"
Kim

"You're worried? I'm sitting here in my jocks next to two naked guys!"
Kim

Luke: "This soap smells so good you could eat it"
Mike(Mandy's boyfriend): "Damnit its so good you could smoke it!"

Zak: "Mike you are the raspberry king"
Mike: "Why thank you. I serve my public well"

"The Playstation doesn't know I'm naked"
Zak

"Is tequila open?"
Kim, trying to ask if the bottle-o was open so he could get some tequila.

"I feel like getting totally snapped and throwing up everywhere"
Kim

"Carmen just take your pants off"
Luke and Kim said this alot

"Are those baby casawaries?"
Tamara, looking at chickens at the Botanical Gardens in Rocky.

"Well I call second shotgun!"
Tamara

"Its my favourite"
Catherine's favourite thing to say

"Yeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh"
Steve hurtling down a hill in Brisbane, schoolies

"Shut up Tamara!"
Pretty well everyone has said that, some more than others

"Yous all wanna see it!"
Steve, 2000

"I'm Drrrruuunk"
Amy Morrisson, her birthday

"I'll make you tap!"
Zak

"Hey, this has got corn in it!"
Luke looking at the back of a Dorritos packet

"I don't even like him anyway"
Sam, about lots of people

"Is the web site updated yet Jon?"
Kim, alot

"Hahahahhahahhahahhahahahhahhahahhahahah"
Catherine and Kirsty, alot

"Time for drink drink"
Adam, 9am

"You're a fuck"
Jon Green

"So how's Michelle"
Larissa asking about Lynette

"It's OK, we're only ten minutes away"
Leila, showing everyone her 'shortcut'

"Arrgggh!! the Nintendo hates me"
Ben Maloney

"Oh oh, deady bones"
Ben Fairley

"Catch you on the flip side daddy-o"
Ben Fairley

Kim: "My eyes are a bit sore"
Jon G: "My eyes aren't even sore and I just sprayed Mortein in them."
(I had the mortein can facing the wrong way OK?)

"I dunno if I'll watch Wrestlemania, I'll probably be passed out under the beach."
Kim

"Why do I always attract the fat sluts?"
Arx full on yelled that while sitting right next to this fat girl he didn't like in Bonkers

"Why does all the bad stuff always happen to me?"
Arx, when he 'broke' the pole

Sam: (Struggling) "Why the fuck won't this door open?"
Kim: "It's locked Sam"
Sam trying to get out of Kims car

"That's pretty bodgy"
Chris Arnold

Sam: "Mrs Carte was a bitch cause she wouldn't let us play sport"
Shack: "Yeah she was a bitch"
Sam: "Then she died"
Sam and Shack together: "The bitch"

Shack: "I'll go run round with the round bra from the fridge"
Sam: "Yeah I'd like to go down the beach and run around"
I'm not even going to explain that one

Kim: "Shack your penis is touching my leg"
Shack: "No that's my leg man"
We were skinny dipping, there was a girl there too so thats ok

Sam and Jon: "Shack all you do is scratch your arse"
Shack: "Nah thats my leg man" (Shack then falls forwards off his chair)

"Pepsi Max tastes like Gay"
Zak

"At least we have the opportunity to fluff in clean air"
Sam, when we talked about fluffing for 2 hours

"Who fluffed?"
Shack

"Well cut me legs off and call me shorty"
Aaron Skene

Lynette: "I'm so ready to hit you"
Shack: "Just take a fluff, I mean a joke"

"Its one of those meaty-bite fluffs. It smells like rotten kangaroo but rottener"
Shack

"I'm unbelievable? You're unbelievable you won't even take off your pants!"
Sam talking to Lynette

"Only if you let me take your bra and panties off with my teeth"
Shack (said it about 20 times)

"I think I shit my pants"
Shack, and yes he was serious. But he didn't shit his pants.

"Where's Luke?"
Jon Green, as I walked into Lukes house I said this to Luke's mum who has no idea who I was

"Why would I want a caravan with no fucking wheels?"
Steve

"Oh yeah Shack, I can play the piano now. Yeah I watched Shine last night"
Sam

"Oh for fucks sake how the fuck do you get out of this fuckhole!?"
Jon Green, I walked around and around the stupid tent village at Great Keppel and couldn't work out how to get out.

"$25 a month to save a child? screw that, thats like six drinks!"
Kim. He has his priorities.