October Profile : Ben Maloney

Well Ben Maloney had been waiting for around about a year to get interviewed, but we'd never really had the opportunity. One day he suggested I should write him the questions and he'd reply through email. This is what we came up with.


Jon: What is your full and entire name Ben?
Ben M: Benjamin Farren Maloney, in regards to my middle name my parents wanted it to be different'!!

Jon: And what are you currently doing?
Ben M: At the moment we are sitting at anchor just of the coast of Honiara refuelling

Jon: In all your many years, what is the stupidest
thing you can remember doing?
Ben M: Wow thats a tough one! Ive done alot of stupid things! But I can narrow it down to 2. 1) Pulling down my pants and letting someone take
a photo of my arse 2) Getting so drunk that some guy pissed on me and I got taken home by the cops!! And I can probably add in there the time that i kissed Tammy Hustler at Ben Fairleys party!!

Jon: And what's the stupidest thing you've ever seen done by someone else?
Ben M: Wow another tough one!! Ive seen ALOT of stupid things things in my time but surprisingly Kim doesnt get a mention in this one!! Probably when
I was at HMAS Cerberus and I walked outside at 6 in the morning to find some really drunk guy taking a crap in front of a group of people on the grass!!

Jon: What's the best thing about being in the Navy, in your opinion?
Ben M: Probably the money and all the extra little things that get me more money!! I could say the overseas port visits but in the past 5 months ive
travelled half way around the world and still havent actually visited any other countries yet!!

Jon: And what's the best thing about Yeppoon?
Ben M: Bonkers!! Definately Bonkers!! For some reason i'd rather a night in Bonkers than a night out in Sydney!! I think its because i know at least
half the people that are in Bonkers anyways! So its like a house party at a nightclub! I like that!! I wonder what happened to those Bonkers ads that
used to be on all the time... "Dont go mad at home, go Bonkers!!".. i miss that..

Jon: If you were in the Persian Gulf and you saw some crazy looking Iraqis riding on a boat coming towards your ship, what would be your reaction?
Ben M: That actually did happen and what I had to do was turn on my 10 inch light and shine it at them. Nothing like a 10 million candlewatt power light being directed into your face in the middle of the night! You can see 10 inch lights flashing from 13 miles away during the day so imagine getting it right in your face in the middle of the night!!

Jon: What's your most embarassing moment?
Ben M: Probably when i was on HMAS Tobruk last year. The boys were watching a porno when I walked in and made the mistake of saying my thoughts out loud! I said 'Holy Shit that guys got a huge dick!'. Nobody forgot that one in a hurry!! And i got banned from making comments when pornos were on!!

Jon: Any last words?
Ben M: I hope this interview hasnt been a big anti-climax for anybody but to finish off with a bang im going to say something that i dont think ive said on this website for a while now, but its long overdue and here it is....
Suck My Balls... thanks jon